Let's the story begin...

i had a very great day on my birthday. when i wake up, my sister, my brother in law, and of course my daddy and mommy already there preparing the birthday cake. i'm speechless. :) no..not about that cake thing. it's because finally i realize, this is the day when i'm officially not a teenagers again. and that is some kind of alarm that keep ringing in my head, and keep remains me to remember that this is the time to grow up! and suddenly, i cry.i'm so touched with that kisses and hugs ritual. it begins when i hug my daddy. what can i say.. isn't that sweet when someone remember your birthday, and they didn't try to surprise you,they just want you to know that they are always there beside you. they wishper some advices to me,and it makes me more touched. and i can't control my tears anymore. okay,let it be. :') i just love my family. they are beyond awesome! :)

My birthday cake.

August,15th, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me... :)

Yes, today is my birthday. And the important thing is, now i'm officially 20 ! yahooo... i don't want to say much. because it's already too late now. i don't want to ruin my special day with my Panda look. haha.

What i want to say is.. i hope in this early 20,i can be more mature than before.. more diligent, more confident, more organized, more cheerful, more grateful, more blessed, more and more better than before.

i made so many promises on my last birthday,but too bad i didn't do it at all. So in this special day again, i want to make it coming true. no, i don't want to forget my promises. i want to make it real... i want to be a better me.. better daughter... better sister... better friend... :)

So... just watch there, i will show you the best of me...

love,

Felisia.

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Kuingin Kau Tau

Rules:
1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Happy-Leona Lewis

(i'm Happy.. So everything gonna be allright)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Adelaide Sky- Adhitia Sofyan

(errr.. yes, this describe my type of music a lot ! )

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Blue Eyes - Mika

(hahaha. Black or brown eyes is still allowed, you know?_

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Wedding Bell- Ost.UP

(o ow....)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Life is Wonderful-Jason Mraz

(ho ho ho, Damnly yes. )

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Touches You-Mika

(is that my motto????????)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Good Gone Girl - Mika

(yes i am, thanks friends. :D)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Membekas di Hati - La Luna

(yeaahh... )

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Homeless-Leona Lewis

(na-ah...)

WHAT IS 2+2?
Dance in The Dark - Lady Gaga

( =.=" )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Low- Flo Rida

(NO ! They Higher than me ! )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Lollipop - Mika

(hahaha, yess.. He is Sweet. )

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Halo - Beyonce

(HALO? it is wonderful, okay???)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Naked - Leona Lewis

(..........................)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Satellite - Mika

(yeah, satellite can make us connected each other.. )

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Like Lazenby - Sondre Lerche

(hmmmm... )

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Paper Planes - M.I.A

(oh, will i? )

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Eternal Flame - Atomic Kitten

(ouch... thats sweet... :) )

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Hanya Untukmu - Ten2Five

(Brand New Hobby)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Stop Crying Your Heart Out - Leona Lewis

(errr...........)

WHAT´S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I Remember - Mocca

(no... i love my memories)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Touch My Body - Mariah Carey

(by touch??? )

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
A Lifetime - Better Than Ezra

(Totally wrong maaan... )

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
The Saltwater Room - Owl City

( ????? )

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Malam Biru - Shandy Sundoro

(i thougt the night is black... so i cry )

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

(it means I WILL, right? )

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Betcha By Golly, Wow - Sugababes

(uh-huh)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Once in a Lifetime - Beyonce

(once? oh come on ! )

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Almighty Moon - Sondre Lerche

(doohh)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Please Don't Stop The Rain - James Morrison

(.....)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Kuingin Kau Tau - Adrian Martadinata

(hahahaha. okay okay. )

Tags : everyone who read it ! :D

when you love someone..

found this post on Stella's blog

talking about love,

i think the sweetest moments is when you're in high school.

all the things that happened at that time, won't happen afterwards.

it's like.. one day a cute boy take your eyes with him as long as he walks by

you begin walk by his class to see him secretly

when he looks at you back, you become red and walk as fast as you can.

you begin to wish secretly, hope he's going to text you

you're as happy as laugh like hell when the first text

from him popped up in your mobile

valentine's day, a week before you start to think

how's you gonna make the chocolate

and you wish the time just stop at that night, because it's too perfect to be true

the first time he ask you to have breakfast or lunch together at school,

you ll spend your 15 mins before break time in front of tiny little mirror

you begin to imagine and draw in your notebook at class,

a little draw that express you and him in your wedding day

when his driver hasn't arrive school yet to pick him home,

you go to the toilet and call your driver, ask him to be slower cause

you have something to do at school

the first time going to watch movies together,

you ask your driver to drop you off,

and you meet him at the cinema, then he drives you home,

you'll ask him to stop at the neighbour's house, so dad/mom won't see a guy

when he gives you a rose, you come home with the rose inside your shirt,

afraid of mom's asking who it is from and more interrogation

then you begin to love weekdays, because you can meet him at school

you keep the text that he writes "i love you" the first time

the first time he kiss your cheek in a public place while there's no one there,

you're home but you don't wanna wash your face

you ll be so happy when he buys you your fav noodle soup,

and he knows exactly how you want it be. without the onions and vegetables

you always wait for the first year anniversary day

and when graduating day comes, the place you hate the most is the airport

the day you hate the most in your life, is that day

and you cry endlessly cause of distance and time..

and this is from : Cathy's Blog

you begin to know which canteen he goes to during break time

or which way he takes when he's going back to his class

you start to write his name on your notebook

then erase it as soon as possible, afraid your friends will find out

and when you accidentally meet him outside the school,

you'll smile for the whole day and think that "what happened just now was fate! (:"

when he texts you, you are too happy that you think a billion times before you reply his message, observe every of your words

and right after you reply his message, you keep waiting for his reply

when he calls you for the first time, you'll remember not what you two have been talking about, but how long you've talked!

when he smiles at you, talks to you, or even just look at you,

your face will turn red, and you're under attack by crab syndrome

when he comes to your class and asks you to have breakfast with him,

no matter how much homework you have to do, still you'll say YES to him

you feel happy when you have your lunch with him and his friends

or when he buys you lunch and delivers it to your class

and when your friends and his friends keep teasing you two,

you feel shy, but happy at the same time

you feel happy when he accompanies you to school's gate

you pretend to act cool when he's trying to have your attention,

although deep inside your heart you're dancing happily

you start to listen to his favourite song, and wonder why he loves those songs

try to memorize the lyrics, so that you can sing along with him if he plays those songs

you feel happy when he wants to take your pictures, or takes pictures with you

you feel that he is the one you want, and you wish to be his last one

and somehow you're amazed by how you feel upon him, from stranger into someone special in your heart

but by the time he is about to graduate,

you're afraid, and you hate to do the countdown.

you wish that each day you pass is longer than ever

you wish that July won't come too soon

you wish that February and March will stay longer than ever

you wish that you can always see him on April, May, and June

you keep on wishing that you two can spend more time together

before he finally leaves.....

and at the airport, you will tell him

"keep in touch, text me as soon as you arrive there..."

then he will give you a big and warm hug, you start to cry, and you whisper

"will miss you badly..."

but then when he tells you

"i will miss you too. don't worry, have faith in me, and wait for me, will you?"

you smile, undefined smile... both happy and sad at the same time...

SomethingNew

I hate my mood lately.

too moody to be true.

At first, i really don't know what is wrong with me...

But now, i think i know what happen to me lately.

Dilemma.

I don't mean to share my bad side of me, people..

really.

I just don't know how to share it with someone.

I think post it here will be okay...

This time, i really have to move on.

i don't have any reason to stay with this uncertain feelings.

i hate it !

i really have to focus on my passion.

The Problem is..

i don't really sure what my passion is..

I'm TOTALLY in PROBLEMS.

Problem to decided what is my Passion..

Problem to control my Feelings..

Problem to control my Emotion..

Problem with so many things!!

I want my freedom..

Not like my life lately..

Do something i don't really like..

Do something that others want me to do..

Yes, Pathetic.

At my 1st post on this blog..

i said that i want to do what i want to do..

and be what i want to be..

But now what?

I'm still INSIDE THE BOX !

Talk Less Do More.

I need that right now.

Stop Dreaming !

Do it !

But hey !

wake up !

This is life...

You must fight for yourself...

You must stand on your own feet !

I realize that.

And i have decided one thing..

one important thing..

At least for me.

i want to quit..

Quit from doing something i don't want to..

It's hard..

VERY VERY HARD !

But I just want to be free..

Free for myself..

Do what i really really want to do..

yes, i have decided..

when the time comes.

I will quit.

Right.. I think that will be my first move...

I hope everything will be allright.

:)

Picture of the Day.

"Freedom, Hopes, Spirit, Brand New Day"

Bunch of Love,

Felisia

BeautifulSunnyDay

Yes, like the title..

Today is really a beautiful day..

:)

this picture belows always makes my feelings touched.

warm, beautiful, trust, calm, aware, secure, something like that..

so peaceful. :)

okay, eventhough today i just cuddling in my room, but still.

i can feel that today is really a beautiful day ! haha..

Like around 5pm, i open my door, and.... *breathtaking*

Yellow everywhere.. The wall, window, door, floor, stairs, everything. :)

Sunset time... !

ooh... i always love "Yellow Sky"..

Beautiful... and again..

Breathtaking.. :)

too bad i forgot to capture that wonderful view. :(

so i just search all about sunset pictures.. oh, how i like that......

i wish i was there....

i wish i was them...

amazing...

okay...

Honestly, i'm not really sure what kind of topic i want to share it with you, people..

i just want to share SOMETHING ! hahaha..

so, here i am. :D

Maybe it's because this cool movie.....

The Blind Side.

i watched it couple days ago.

So sweet, Touching, and Meaningful...

:)

i dont want to become a spoiler, people..

Just want to tell you that it is a must watch movie. :)

You can learn how to love others, how to protect the one you love, how precious your family is..

i can't describe it into words.

too sweet. :)

i'm in love with Sandra Bullock too !

She is amazing on that movie.

want to be a mommy like her someday..

Cool mommy, and hv an angel's heart...

and the best part is, i always love the Happy Ending movie. :)

ah..

a minutes ago, i just gave my cousin a challenge..

(makes me excited to read his Blog.. with a nice topic of course)

hahaha..

i ever challenge him before.

more difficult i think..

(tell me about yourself, and makes me surprise)

Then he tell me that surprising story about him on his blog.

i like the way he writes about himself.

simple, but meaningful.

haha.

so, on this 2nd challenge,

i want him to write on his blog again. LOL

This challenge things started when he reach 1600th tweet on his twitter.

and the pop up idea come to my mind..

he must tweet something special on his 1600th tweet.

that must be about himself i think..

so he writes something on his blog , and share it to me. :)

maybe it's too long, so he cant write it on twitter.. LOL

i want to share it with you someday.

but, i must get his permission first. :)

okay then,

i want to read his blog first.

share something later. :)

ah yess, want to share this picture to you... breathtaking one.

i cant describes my feelings when i see this picture.. it just -oh so amazing- for me..

proud, happiness, confidence, warm, yet.. it's scary too..

i called it "Life". :)

Bunch of love,

Felisia.

Journal's Journey

I have many things in mind..

Many things i want to tell someone..

but i can't...

Many things i want to share with someone..

but i can't...

Many things i want to be..

but i have no confident to become what i want...

So Complicated..

But i kinda enjoy it....

Live with so many things in my mind...

it means i'm alive.... :)

One of my wishlist is to become a person who can share my life's journey to others..

it's difficult, i know..

because not only a good skill to write, but also an interesting journey i must have...

I'm wondering..

is my life worth it to share ?

at first, i would say..

"Of course not, my life is sooo flat.."

But if you ask me now, i'll say...

"Of course yes, my life will never flat because i have so many dreams, many expectations, and a bunch of spirit to share my life's journey to you ... "

I finally realized..

i'm too INSIDE the box..

i'm afraid to be different..

i'm afraid to be weird..

i'm afraid to break the rules..

i'm afraid what others would say about me..

Yes, you might say i'm a boring person..

Yes i am.. Yesterday.

But i have my own wishlist...

to become more ME..

not others.

" i want to do what i want to do..

i want to be what i want to be..

not what others want me to do..

not what others want me to be.."

This is my life...

No one can ruin it..

No one can make a rule in it..

No one can judge me..

I judge myself..

I appreciate other's opinion..

But i appreciate mine More. :)

Sounds a little bit arrogant..

It's okay..

Still..

Maybe it's the truly me..

and i love myself a lot...

Thats okay if people say i'm weird, geek, selfish, stubborn, childish, etc.

As long as i become myself, it's okay.. :)

But hey.

How long you will judge people from they weakness?

i know myself better than anyone else..

That's enough....

At last.

Love yourself more..

you are WORTH IT. :)

Ah yes, i found this picture today from photobucket.

Love it so much !

Bunch of Love,

Felisia.